#2 Bootlicking and its Dignified Alternatives
Exposing Counterfeits access to Favour and how to recover from them
Welcome to our Series on Divine Favour and the exploration of dignified alternatives to most counterfeit persuasion devices practised in today’s world. If you’re just joining us, here’s where we are at, and what’s ahead:
Divine Favour: The dignified alternative to Begging, Bootlicking, Seduction and Lobbying
#2 Bootlicking and its Dignified Alternatives ←This post
In this post, I’ll expose the second counterfeit access, Bootlicking — which is also called Kowtowing or Water-carrying. Let’s dive in.
BOOTLICKING — Behaving in an excessively forced- and false-obedient, subservient or servile way as a means of gaining favour.
The mindset that someone (and that person alone) is the key to the next level in your life, business or career, and willingness to do anything for them, even if the actions or service violates one’s dignity.
In Begging, the other party makes you feel guilty — nothing is exchanged, “just give me or help me” is the language of begging, and “if you don’t you are a bad person.”;
In Bootlicking, the bootlicker offers false, substandard, degraded and pretence-laden Service in exchange for “favour”. Paul coined the term eyeservice to describe this kind of Service.
Eyeservice depicts the conduct of slaves, who work only when they are watched, and whose motive is not fidelity to duty but to avoid punishment or gain reward from their masters.
Bootlicking reduces one to a Slave.
If a Poverty Mindset is the root cause of Begging, then a Slavery Mentality (lack of self-worth) is the root cause of Bootlicking. Classically, people are forced into Slavery, but bootlickers volunteer to become Slaves.
Slavery is one of the most dehumanizing human conditions. Slaves work for survival; with no future in view.
The bootlicker is willing to do anything that violates their self-dignity, including endure being used or abused, because of the object of pursuit or desire. You will find bootlickers do seeming unimaginable things and go to unimaginable lengths just to curry favour.
They appease themselves by saying, “the end justifies the means — after all, I got the promotion, the job, the contract, the deal”, or even, “I got married to him or her etc”.
There are industries where business deals, accounts or contracts are closed and signed in compromising places or settings. Yet you find bootlickers “holding their nose” in direct defiance of their conscience and dignity.
The Bootlicker lacks enough self-worth and a healthy self-concept to produce or attract value. They have accepted a reality that they must remain Subservient to Survive.
The ultimate downside of Bootlicking is Idolatry.
The Bootlicker falsely thinks they can move on with their lives after obtaining the target favour; that is, step out of the “slavery condition” when the favour is gotten.
Unfortunately, the Slavery Bug has been deeply installed in their heart; the slavery mentality continues to trigger a recurring self-sabotaging pattern of behaviour that ultimately dehumanises the individual in the light of eternity.
Bootlickers will sin against God by serving false gods and idols — because they substitute God for men, institutions or even nations.
Imagine Person A saying to Person B, “…without me, you wouldn't have made it; in fact, I made you, and you cannot deny it“. I believe something dies inside Person B if he sincerely has no regard for Person A.
If Person B continues in that relationship long enough, the substance of his self-dignity will be completely eroded, and that individual will soon sin against God.
Abraham’s experience is apt. Abraham went to battle with 318 trained servants against four Mesopotamia kings to recover his Nephew, Lot. Sodom and Gomorrah had been defeated by these four kings; they seized all the goods and took all the people captive, including Lot.
On his return, the King of Sodom offered Abraham all the spoils of war in exchange for the people. But Abraham, a blessed man with divinely inspired self-esteem, responded,
“I have raised my hand to the Lord, God Most High, Creator of heaven and earth, and have taken an oath that I will accept nothing belonging to you, not even a thread or the thong of a sandal, so that you will never be able to say, 'I made Abram rich.' (Genesis 14:22-23)
Abraham testified, “I have lifted my hands to the Lord; I recognise Him as the source; nobody on earth can make me; no other hand on earth can raise me. I will not give anybody the pleasure of saying they made me rich!”
Kunle Soriyan asserts, “slavery is a necessity in a flawed world, and true freedom is the ability to choose what enslaves you”. so true.
Abraham chose to be enslaved to God.
Some other persons have chosen to be enslaved to men, technology, institutions, governments and sometimes nations— for a Christian and person of Faith in God, that is modern Idolatry.
For the Christian, the testimony before God should be:
Behold, as the eyes of servants look unto the hand of their masters, and as the eyes of a maiden unto the hand of her mistress; so our eyes wait upon the LORD our God, until that he have mercy upon us. (Psalms 132:2)
The whole of Psalms 132 teaches us that we either receive mercy (or favour) from God with our dignity intact or get false favour from arrogant and proud people with plenty of ridicule, contempt, and dehumanization — we can’t eat our cake and still have it.
Honour Vs Bootlicking
Honour is regarding and esteeming another highly.
Yes, it is possible to mistake Honour for Bootlicking.
But, the difference lies in that honour doesn’t look to the hands of the one being honoured for anything.
The one who honours is just satisfied with the pleasure and privilege of serving. The honour goes mainly without expectation of reciprocation — no exchange is expected.
Genuine Honour is the antidote to Bootlicking.
Where a Bootlicker “hits and runs” after they have obtained the favour, Honour is sustained over the long term. It doesn't matter if the honoured is still in the position to do or give anything in return.
The path of Honour can also be better understood in the context of the expected relationship with Parents.
God commands that parents should be honoured by their children from when the children are young (when the children are completely dependent) to the old age of the parents (when the parents become dependent themselves), and even in their death and afterwards.
Honour is in the game for the long term; Bootlicking is a short-term “one-night stand” type of contact.
I remember when a vacant position came up for a top management position, the current deputy seemed like a favourable candidate to fill the vacancy. A subordinate began to treat the deputy differently — bootlicking — by carrying his bags, running errands etc, with the view to curry favour and to be in the good books when the deputy assumes the top management role.
A few weeks later, an outside person was appointed to fill that position, and this subordinate immediately stopped his “false service” to the deputy without any prior notice (so evil).
Similarly, I had a funny experience as a Registrar of a foremost Nigerian private University. My wife was dropping off our baby at school when she was approached by a woman in search of a job. The woman felt she could use my wife to influence to process of getting the job. She insistently offered to carry the baby’s bags, which my wife reluctantly released. Walking half into the school, she disclosed her job-seeking intentions. My wife told her nicely that she doesn’t get involved in such issues as a matter of family policy. On hearing this, the woman immediately handed over the bags back to my wife halfway through the school premises! So much for “Honour” — bootlicking par excellence!
I’ve heard bootlicking also plays out in post-graduate programmes, particularly in PhD programmes in some parts of Nigeria. Someone humorously said PhD is an acronym for Prayer, Hard work and then “Dobale” (Dobale is a Yoruba phrase that means to “prostrate”; here, it connotes paying obeisance in a dehumanizing manner). It means you must do anything, run errands that are completely outside the context of research and academics — like house chores — just to get favour in the PhD process.
Cultivating Honour Mindset
I share two perspectives on building an Honour Mindset.
First, see everyone as deserving of honour, regardless of sex, race, social and economic status, or educational background.
As long as that person is a human being made in God’s image, they deserve to be honoured.
Someone who naturally Honours people cannot become a Bootlicker.
Peter gave us a formula in 1 Peter 2:17 — Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king. Before you can genuinely Honour kings (those in a position to favour you), you must first master the act of Honouring all men — including the security guard at the company’s gate, as well as the CEO.
James also corroborated Peter’s prescription. James counselled that discrimination based on the quality of a person’s wardrobes or appearances breaks the commandment to “Love our neighbours as ourselves”. He adds that such discrimination is a Sin (James 2:2-9).
I know someone who frequently and naturally refers to Uber drivers as “Sir”. She has nothing to gain from the Uber driver being the one paying for the service. This lady swims in honour and favour; a culture of honour will always pave the way to a stream of favour.
Some others treat their subordinates as trash, and when their own superiors show up, they immediately put up a false pretence of niceness.
Secondly, see God as the ultimate recipient of your Honour or Service.
Paul distinguished between eyeservice and real service (Eph 6:6 and Col 3:22). Real service is offered to God and not to the master on anyone with authority or resources to favour or punish you.
Honour in offering or rendering service is sustained when we look beyond the honoured to see God!
This perspective — that God is the ultimate recipient of one’s service — changes the game. Even with a terrible and undeserving boss, you always do your best work in excellence and render your service as unto the Lord.
You would not compromise on the quality of your delivery, for when a man's ways please the Lord; He makes the man’s “enemies” live in peace or in league with him (Prov 16:7).
Did Joseph exclaim, “How can I do this wicked thing and sin against Potiphar?” No, He actually said, “How can I sin against God?“. It shows who Joseph saw as the recipient of his service and fidelity. If one serves God, one would not be Subservient to any man.
Dignified Alternative to Bootlicking — Value
Offering Valuable and Profitable Service will procure Favour anytime any day.
Let’s consider the story of Joseph.
Joseph rose up the ranks in Potiphar’s house, in the Prison and later in Pharoah’s palace because he was an honourable man.
When the Bible said, “God was with Joseph and he prospered in all that he did”, it meant Joseph was a Value-Producer — he always delivered on every assignment given.
Frist, Potiphar noticed. Potiphar made Joseph the head of his household because he was always deliverer value and multiplied Portiphar’s assets at home and in the field. He was so good that Potiphar’s wife prefered him to her husband (lol).
Then, the head of the Prison noticed. Joesph became was responsible for all that was done in prison.
Later, Pharoah noticed. He gave Joseph his ring and made him ruler over all the land of Egypt.
To me, the real favour story was not that Joseph became prime minister, but that he brought his entire family from Canaan into Egypt to preserve them from the famine.
They dwelt in the best land, had thriving jobs and careers, and had everything they could ever need because of how Pharoah regarded Joseph (In a future post, I will share the magnificence of Joseph’s reign in Egypt and how we can apply the same principles in our career and advancement of the Kingdom of God).
When Jacob died, the Egyptians mourned him for 70 days. Later, Pharaoh released Joseph to go bury his father and he was accompanied by all of Pharaoh’s officials, senior members of Pharaoh’s household, and senior officers of Egypt (Gen 50:1-26).
Every important person in Egypt attended the burial; a coup would have been carried out so easily. However, Joseph’s commitment to his bosses (Portiphar, Head of Prison and Pharaoh) procured favour for him at every level, leading to a generational impact.
Joseph was not a Bootlicker. Though an outsider, he held the helm of affairs of the Egyptian Administration after 13 years of arriving in Egypt — by favour through value-adding contribution.
These days, people overly pride themselves on who they know and measure their “net worth by their network”.
Joseph did not know anybody in Egypt; he was only 17 years old when he was sold into slavery; he didn’t have any network, but he knew God, and with the endowment of favour from God, he became the most prominent citizen of Egypt.
Ecclesiastes 9:11 indicates that skilful men always attract favour; more so, a diligent man who deploys skills in his tasks to generate uncommon results will become the toasts of kings and not ordinary men (Pro 22:29).
Bootlicking-o-Meter
How do you know if you are Honouring or Bootlicking?
Do you rate and choose to honour people based on their status, appearance and possessions?
What is the lifespan of your Honour — Short or long-term?
Who do you consider to be the recipient of your Service and Honour — Man or God?
Do you deploy the full complement of your skills and energy to advance the objectives of the individual, the team, or the organization?
Do you have fidelity to duty and the boss or render eyeservice to avoid punishment or for perceived gain?
Conclusion
Nehemiah was unhappy about the state of Jerusalem’s walls. He was a cup-bearer for King Artaxerxes. Before approaching the King, he had prayed and fasted for God’s mercy and favour.
Usually, a bootlicker would pretend that nothing is wrong and dance to the tune of the target.
Not Nehemiah. For the first time, he appeared sad before the King.
The King noticed his countenance. Actually, a sad disposition before the King portends a sign of rebellion. Initially, Nehemiah was frightened, but he summoned the courage to express himself in sincerity, “Why should I not be sad, when the city, the place of my fathers' graves, is desolate, and the gates thereof are destroyed with fire?”.
The King answered, “What is your request?“. Nehemiah obtained the approvals, resources and protection to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. He later emerged as the Governor.
To show the character of the man, Nehemiah never demanded the entitlement of a Governor; he was more concerned about the welfare of the people — contribution.
When you understand the place of honour and genuine contribution-driven service, you will have struck a pot of gold of favour that will last you a lifetime.
The attitude of Honour plus skill, diligence, result-orientedness, and obsession with productivity will engender a continuous stream of favour — this is the dignified alternative to Bootlicking. Or what do you think? Leave a comment below 👇
Azubuike ✌️
"Some other persons have chosen to be enslaved to men, technology, institutions, governments and sometimes nations— for a Christian and person of Faith in God, that is modern Idolatry"
Honour and creating value is the antidote to bootlicking.
God, please let these things be at work in my life!!
Thank you so much, Sir. This is so incredible, Sir